With the folding chair and knapsack on the back

I left home at about 9:15am to get a haircut. Wednesday next week I am due to see the heart specialist and I have not had a cut since Oct so it was looking very untidy. On the way across the bridge and through the bike trails it suddenly slewed to one side and the controls became heavy. The rear left tire had not only gone flat it had partially disintegrated and was rolling off to the side of the wheel.

I kept going as the barber was only 100m away. On the way I passed a public phone. So relieved they still have them. I rang my case officer and ADDSI and reported that I was in difficulty and would she contact the repair truck or get me some assistance. Since we discovered that my heart has been weakened and has artery disease things seem so much more dangerous to us all.

After the phone call I went on to the barber. The scooter died a couple of times on the way. It has thermal cut-offs and pushing the tire around the rim must have been making the motor labor harder than usual. I had a haircut and waited for the truck.

It was Craig from Toukley Bikes and Scooters who came. He is always very quick on such things. He didn’t say much to me except to complain that he had been told it was an urgent job and he had been all the way over at The Entrance. I am not sure why helping a man with multiple health issues would seem less than urgent but Craig and I don’t get on because of this very sort of thing. He seems to think any job for me is worthy of his contempt and I wish I could tell him to fuck off and I would use someone else. Unfortunately he is the one ADDSI seems to have on their books as repairer and he does get the job done.

He does a good job, but he has a way of making a meal out of a snack which annoys me! I feel an addendum might be appropriate seeing as I have mentioned Craig and his business by name. My problems with him are between he and I and I would be happy to recommend him to anyone. He does a good job. He also has no idea of the seriousness of my condition and I am sure he would have treated my transport needs a little differently today. The choice was either delete the entry or make sure people did not get the wrong idea about him. The internet has a way of harming people from stray comments

Warren the Barber was amazed to see Craig drive off leaving me standing by the roadside. He asked me how I would get home and when I shrugged he closed the shop and drove me home. This was not something people normally do and my day is brighter for his kindness. Not to mention I was facing a painful and crippling walk home. There are taxis but I had no money left and they can take all day to arrive while buses are painful and difficult to use.

If I can cover this without appearing as a tragic drama queen the fact is that I feel I am very unlikely to survive this new health issue. It would be a battle if I were well but with numerous painful disabilities and existing illnesses I suspect the heart specialist will throw up his hands in despair when I see him. Mentally if not in front of me.

There have been some familial responsibilities I have let lag because they are difficult and my health has been so bad. My brother’s left-over correspondences and legal documents were spread over a bunch of CDs. He had been ill for a long time and knew his end was certain so he scanned all his important papers, contracts and logged and stored important emails. Because he was so ill (as am I) they were never properly collated and have been in a drawer here since he died.

I forced myself to go through all the CDs and remove anything like songs and movies so I could get all the paperwork and emails onto the one DVD. It took all day and some sign of my own illness were the booming chest twinges I was being invaded by towards the end. Hopefully aspirin is enough to stop further damage. His son blames me for some indefinable monstrous behaviour. Actually his mother just hates us all and has spent long in his ear over how evil and useless we are. Yes Michelle I know what you have been doing. Despite him feeling that way there appear to be documents his father intended for he and his brother and I will try to assure they are available here and easy to find should I expire suddenly.

There were documents and contracts intended for mum. Because they were not in his hard copy paperwork she had assumed he had lied to her about certain things and that made his death so much harder for her to bear. I have found them or references to them and will be able to lessen her pain on that score. She was feeling as though he had such a low opinion of her that he would just make something up to get her to follow certain courses. I don’t want to actually describe the issue but my brother had several legal battles on against the government and Air Force as well as fighting for his life and was well aware he was dying so he left all sorts of hints and paperwork to try and explain to his family why he took some of the extreme actions he did.

Those explanations and evidence of the harshness of his late life are in these documents. There was a picture of my Dad, twisted by illness and on his deathbed. I am still struggling with emotions raised by that.

I still may have to consider that I am the only one in the family who has the computing skills to get at these documents in all their present file types.If I am seriously to make them available I may have to republish them as PDF. I am tired now and want to work on some drawings today. Then I have to go through the thousands of pages of short  stories and documents of my own and equally, make them available so my family can access them and any other stuff like my will. Then if I am still standing I will rationalize the shed That is a funny terminology but there are lots of useless objects in there which a family member could mistake as being of importance to me. I remember my mum crying over everything in Robby’s shed and spending hours sorting it because she felt everything in there was important.

At her current age, the long flight here, finding somewhere to stay on a low budget and the desperate battle to save important possessions before the estate agents chuck it on the street could kill her. The less stuff in there the better. It is just that I am not so well myself and it is a lot to do

Craig returned the scooter last thing today. The case worker told me over the phone she was very impressed with the way he got the quote done in almost no time. It is Friday afternoon now 5:30 pm so he has bothered to drop it off well after many people would be done for the weekend. The tires he has put on are excellent and better than the ones which were on it. I also asked that the very ugly gray tires were replaced with black and he did that as well. I am correct in saying I recommend him to anyone but maybe I was imagining our bit of conflict.