The tingling has stopped. I should not be in here yet. There is a bag with medical records, phone and a toothbrush ready in case I give in and call an ambulance. I will try to avoid that despite being keen and smart the people at the hospital never find anything when I have strokes in the past and what little is left of my grocery money will be spent on the return cab.

There is significant chest pain. I need to rest but there is too much pain and I cannot clear my mind of  stress. I had expected heart trouble or other organ crisis but I misunderstood how much stress and how badly damaged the heart is. Or so it seems. As for the title. If self pity were river weed I would be sitting on enough to feed a hungry, hungry hippo for a year.

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon. I know I am already on all the big powerful medications. Perhaps I can get him to write down that there was a coronary event of some unproven and unknown type. Back to bed. Managed to eat a couple of fish fillets and a bread roll with butter.

By 10pm things had settled and were comfortable apart from that discomfort in the spine. The best way to clear the mind of stress this time was to find some minor task that required concentration without too much effort. The x-rays and CT images needed close checking. Feeling relaxed even.