Finally went to sleep at 6am this morning. Awoke at 10am and it was obvious today is about pain. By midday I have been fighting a drag out battle with my body. I guess it is the crazy weather. I have no strength today. A headache. My eyes burn from spending too long on the computer last night. The house is still dark with the curtains drawn. Normally I would do everything I could to get them open so the low light did not contribute to depression. Depression on top of all the pain is a terrible thing to face. Now the light through open curtains will actually seem to have its own weight and add to the torment.
The keyboard is playing up. I have to eat and take pills so I have to get up. I managed to vacuum parts of the apartment. IT helps to counteract the downward pressure on my emotions from the pain. A dirty house looks positively filthy through a filter of pain and if the depression gets a grip it grows in importance.
Stella Young died. She was a strange little person in a wheel chair who was a disability advocate. I didn’t like her but she worked hard and people say she did good.
I will eat and sleep a little more and see if I can get some control of the pain. I need to go to the store. That is not something I will be looking forward to. The angina is back although it has been very quiet for a while. Ok, this chore done