A Strange Stillness

We found a bunch of Elmo toys at the Smith Family but when we got them home they clambered onto the scooter and refused to leave unless I took them back to the charity store

The flurry of letters that has been falling on me since moving in here has stilled so much that only the necessary informative ones turn up periodically. The constant attempts by staff to get entry to the apartment also seem to have stopped. The strange and random visits by police attempting to create a record of visits so it appears there has been a problem around my apartment here has stopped. It may be that the cameras and letters asking for help have caused someone to take notice and make them stop. It may be that they think they have created enough of a phony activity record to finish me off. Which one it is may be important.

The NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal (NCAT) case has gone decidedly pear shaped. Legal Aid sent a letter telling me that I have a new lawyer. I was able to contact him once only. He has no email and his phone has a ten second voice to sms answerphone. Although capable of sending me that letter the legal aid lawyers were not capable of including the documents they are supposed to have shared with me in the same envelope. The new lawyer made a fuss of telling me he would send the files to my email but that was weeks ago. It is starting look like the last time when they hid the subpoena until my case could not be salvaged and I had no defending evidence. That suggests this subpoena that was served on Family and Community Services records hit pay dirt and someone woke up to the fact that my claims about harassment can be proven and the government or the department embarrassed. I die homeless so they can deny they bullied me to death. That phony conviction will be among the things they use against me this time.

The lawyer is hiding somewhere in the Gorokan-Toukley area and I have been working hard using various digital tags and devices to find where he is so I can lob on his doorstep and he cannot avoid talking to me or refuse to hand over the files. His cover is not as good as he hoped and I have done this before so I have ambition of being successful.

Monopoly Man. There is still some art happening. It is about property investment and the harm to communities

I will not allow any more lawyers to talk to me without witnesses and video recordings so I have begun saving for better video equipment. The desire to prevent the treachery of these people from ruining any more of my life has cost me many hundreds of dollars in recording gear from my pension.

I have been damaged mentally over the years. It is the outcome of being crippled and made homeless, denied medication or support, beaten and robbed again and again, and treated like an agent of some toxic enemy. I keep trying to get an accurate medical record. When the Family and Community Services discovered I had a serious “complex PTSD”¬† they increased the rate of harassment as did the women’s sewing circle here. It is odd that knowing they want to hurt me as badly as they could calmed me. I was driven to howling at them when I thought they were just normal people acting without knowing how ill I was. One guy arrived on my door after I had three days without sleep and had been fighting massive chest pain and just managed to get a peaceful few minutes of sleep. I yelled at him to go away as I was ill and he was drunk so he insisted on staying and then began a program of things like setting all the dogs barking if he heard me snoring in the day. He would drag sacks of cans across the front of the flat and his friends would start yelling matches right under my window if I thought I was asleep. When you know they are doing it to cause you pain you dont get more and more persistent in your attempts to make them stop.

I was side tracked there. Despite attending psychiatrists and getting a nod that I have the problems I claim to have I dont have a suitable paper record. This affects everyone who faces the intense questioning of government and police and business. They will demand accurate records and so far, as nearly as I can tell, the medical profession doesn’t supply them. I imagine this is partly to protect the abusers who ruin the lives of their charges under the banner of culture wars. We see now how many abandoned and abused children are damaged and how they are entitled to compensation. There is a whole demographic of people treated as hated enemies by officials and damaged until they barely function as members of the human race let alone members of the community. My story will include me among them.

Another raw and simple Monopoly Man. Acrylic glazes

This time the damage to my mind and the various conditions that maltreatment and violence have bestowed on me are known factors. I have used up one neurologist so far. They did their full range of tests and were unable to find dementia. We weren’t looking for dementia and I do have signs that something similar is happening but the outcome of the physical and comprehension tests at least discovered signs of frontal lobe injuries and comprehension problems and some form of severe anxiety that might be complex ptsd. Not enough! After a long conversation they realized I am demanding an outcome that records my injuries. A letter from the GP that tells them “Steve will be severely harmed if he becomes homeless!” is not even close to something I will accept this time. This time it should say “This man will die, probably during the move, if he is evicted. This case represents the possibility of a death sentence!” That doesn’t even include the brain matters.

The neurological experts have had a conference and possibly even realized I am trying to make something happen that is good for everyone and my case has been handed to even more specialized specialists in the city. There is a long waiting time and my health and my mind are becoming less robust all the time but I look forward to some actual outcomes.

The same thing goes for psychiatrists. I have been very firm with my GP (much to his annoyance) and demanded referral to a psychiatrist with the end goal of recording what I already know to be true. I will not accept lukewarm outcomes nor non-outcomes. It is impossible that after the way I was treated and had to endure hideous pain and disability and bad treatment (total non-treatment) I am not deeply into the world of complex ptsd. It is a known fact and where I begin my search. I am reminded of all the helpless men who have had their family destroyed, their  employment taken, been treated like animals and when they are vulnerable and their minds like a quivering animal they lash out and are reviled. They need this too. If people have a record that they can offer when thing go awry then those people who suddenly develop symptoms of illness during the months and months of paper swapping in court will not be such a burden for the rest of us who carry terrible illness all the time

Visited the Bateau Bay Medical Clinic for a skin cancer test. They got me through quickly and I have none.

The Oxygen tank leaked out and after less than a minute of low flow it is empty. I have contacted the supplier (Hampdon in West Australia) and they begun demanding photos of this and that and telling me I must have done something wrong. I can see this going like everything else


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