Meeting another lawyer

The appointment to meet and brief the lawyer after Mr Paul Dixon was this morning.

I managed to sleep last night by pushing the computer chair so my legs were on the bed. There were pillows and the feather comforter supporting the legs and I had valium and codeine to try and outwit the nightmares and the pain. It worked for a couple of hours but I spent the morning trying to unscramble my brain. Valium, in particular. is a drug I use on limited occasions when the stress is battering me to the point I cannot make good decisions. It seems to break the growing hold of stress and I rarely use it twice. I cannot imagine it being a regular medication. Dangerous stuff

Grown with love in Barbara’s Garden.

I made a mistake booking the carer. I didnt include the time of the appointment in the email. I sent another email with the appointment time in the morning but my “antenna” told me I would need a taxi and when he hadnt turned up I rang one and went that way. I dont like going alone. I can do it. Before my heart started playing up and memory problems I preferred it. Some of the time it even seems a waste of the time of the carer. Then it happens that the heart problems flare or my memory disappears and I walk in front of a bus or am stuck with several kilos of paperwork that I have to keep safe while knowing that lifting it could aggravate the condition. Like that. That is my excuse anyway. I also love the idea that the hillbillies cannot plant some phony threat or assault me and have me charged with the single punch I threw as I disappeared under a flurry of attackers as they did that time.

It was the taxis this morning. One guy who could barely talk because he had some brain injury, I could sense the intensity of his effort to tell me simple things. We did speak about stuff. I am arrogant enough to ask people what happened when I see them dealing with extraordinary problems. I am not telling what we said but I have been where he is as far as brain injuries go. I was homeless and crippled so I didnt find an occupation but I understand the powerful energy that drove him. The home run taxi was a guy who had worked hard until some need to work harder ruined his health and his heart. He was fighting to find himself again. That is what I face every day. Damaged heart. The battle for energy. The desperate negotiation with life to get some part of it back in my control. I felt as though I had landed in some place where the people were my peers for a change.

The lawyer seemed a capable and intelligent person. I had demanded that I be allowed to video the meeting and the little GoPro Hero sat on the large conference table neatly. I did offer him an apology for forcing it to be used. It was explained that the hillbillies would just suddenly back out of a room complaining I had threatened them without even waiting for me to open my mouth.  I no longer leave the apartment without video coverage and the apartment has cameras all over the place. In the case of this, latest, solicitor I felt I could have left it off but it has to become automatic to use it so I didn’t. We covered some good ground and I left with a feeling that I had moved from a free fall among strange predatory birds to a position of landing in a place with hope.

There are dangers in blogging things. You feel that you can give someone a happy shiny and warm mention by including their good works in your post and then find there was some subtle act among the things they did to support you that damages them and causes you hardships with their corporations. It is the reason I dont include much personal stuff in here. The stuff I do include is a risk taken to try and open the life of a handicapped person to the scrutiny of people who may never see this kind of feedback even if their departments spend tens of millions on research.

The problem with missing the hearing where I give my evidence seems huge. I  have had nightmares over it. Several outcomes were discussed without anyone actually telling us which might be acceptable to the tribunal or the other side. Here is the big risk. It explains itself. It is an email to the lawyer discussing some after-thoughts. I hope it doesnt bring me trouble. I know I am a naive person in this regard but I need this understood as there is a wave cresting over the heads of low income people and they need to have someone dealing with these issues before the harm can set in and the action becomes a clean-up detail with piles of damaged lives all over the landscape.

It was good to meet you and your staff. I left the office with a doubt I could not pin down at the the time but have since managed to expand to a thought.
 Several of the possibilities we discussed place me in a position with no way to meet any threats or accidental behaviors while they are not limited in their behavior. Some agreements and orders create a very inferior ranking for me in the cycle of things. Any agreement with them has to have equal weighting to both parties.
 Somebody has parked several tons of scrap garden detritus in front of my apartment at the moment (see image) and while there is no need to prove harassment and further ill will it may become essential to demand it be moved or explained. It may be an absolute misreading of the situation on my part, Maybe it isn’t even the contractors.  In the light of a deal where I may be gagged how can I assess or discuss it openly? There is no need to have a recognition of guilt or past problems. No mia culpas. Just an item extending fairness to both parties and recognizing the precedent in its longer term possibility of being an odious gag.
There is a danger of an extended tyranny for the tenants driven into social housing or even the homeless. It is the opportunity that the government and the corporations will use to create a corrective atmosphere for anyone they wish to suppress. I know there are better terms than “corrective” but the point can be made. By making an agreement that merely makes demands on behavior of mine, behavior I have never actually expressed, and then by not extending some warranty against the documented actions of the other stakeholders you set a precedent which exposes tenants to further and increased hostile behavior from the government and corporate bodies while lowering tenant status among the population to beings denied right of reply or self-defense. I think it carries connotations far beyond this moment, An agreement that recognizes both sides of the argument is essential even if only for the fact it doesn’t expose future tenants to abuse and deeper impoverishment of their position.
 I also accept no limitations on my right to publish stories in my journal apart from those every other blogger and writer has as a normal part of his legal limits and obligations. They tried that before. I see mention of it was in the files this time as well. I took no notice of the order because I was not writing abusive stories. I was relating stories about myself. Those people were in them because they were interacting with me. Had they not interacted I would have never met them. I told the court and the tribunal that the law protected my rights to write my own story and ignored attempts by both to censor or ban the writing. One body even produced an order trying to shut my blog down. I am not sure if it was the one you have on file. I was forced to contact them and explain that they were making a precedent that was outside their mission statement. I am sure it is called something else. Then I pointed out that it set a precedent that would affect world bloggers and those bloggers would hunt them from every part of the world to get things changed back. Of course this case will not arouse such activity. The people who benefit from not being suppressed sit mostly in front of their televisions getting their minds reamed or traipse back and forth to medical appointments. 
I thought that would interest you. Sorry to take so much of your time

The pressure has begun again. Two letters from Family and Community Services have arrived in two days. One includes information that their maintenance contractor has attempted entry a number of times and has been unable to gain access. He is not entitled to gain entrance whenever he feels like it and without a proper appointment so the fact that has tried a number of times must be seen as part of the harassment. I dont know which one he would be. It will be on the video somewhere but as I cannot identify people he could be anybody.

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