The last few days have been kinda tough. I should have been back in to work on the site but I haven’t felt much like it. The pain has been relentless and things have become more difficult as time passed. It may be that the medication has burnt my stomach lining. I hope that is what is happening because the alternative is a bit final. I need a shave and clean clothes and a shower but unless it has to be done the energy is somewhat difficult to come by. There are other things, The shattered disks are always playing up. The pins and screws in the bones of the hip also became worse over the last few months and they were bad before. The doctor needs to have a look at this.
Legal Aid called while I was asleep this afternoon. Their lawyer left me a message that she would not be able to take my case personally. I had asked for one of their lawyers because I think they are the best there is. Watch the Legal Aid lawyers zip around a court room for a while as they catch the passing life disasters of the poor and befuddled and you know they have talents very few professional lawyers can match. Perhaps the problem is that they become overwhelmed and misery desensitises the yardstick it is measured by. Certainly they are far above the commercial competition at Wyong. She then said I could have the lawyer I wanted but I needed to decided right that minute as she was leaving for a holiday. As I was listening to the message late in the afternoon I was furious and thought this was another of those lawyer smart-ass little tricks where they make you jump just to see you do it. That didn’t help the belly ache a whole lot. She had sent me an email giving me some other options though so it wasn’t as urgent and things were moving at a pace someone might call efficient. For the first time in the whole two years of this case I might add. I would not have known who to pick as a lawyer for the case either as I had not found anyone who knew anything about the lawyers I might use outside of the Wyong crew. A little time is available to check one out now. The relatives have a few lawyers among them. That would not be my first choice as there are things between family that make professional relationships difficult and easy to abuse. I have a cousin and a nephew as well as a whole wing of family who are distant lawyers. Working that out can be a job for tomorrow. I will just have to pull myself together and get it done.
The pain and illness is weakening me. Some of it could be the chemicals in here. They are locked in here now that the house is closed up to heat. It is just too cold when one is ill to not heat the place and the downside is that the fumes make illness as well. I am sure this body cannot keep taking this pain without breaking eventually. Mentally I feel like begging someone to make it stop but who would that be? I know I can deal with a lot of pain. All these broken bones and injuries over the years have been painful and so I know that I can take a lot when I am able to get my mind on the job. But that is where I am right now. Dealing with that kind of pain. It should not be this bad and cannot be this bad without the very strong possibility that some part of me is being flayed by disease, cancer or other cause. If I were anywhere else I think I might call an ambulance very soon now. This is a LOT of pain