The situation where the institution such as Legal Aid or the Tenancy Tribunal seem to be unable to process medical files and information mentioned in the last entry is an interesting one and I think I will pay some attention to it both in here and in the world.
Either there is a long standing systemic breakdown during the communication of medical documents and description of medical conditions or my particular institutional opponents are working very hard to ignore the medical conditions so I appear to be the person they need to be to attack me. Paranoia? Well no. Not in my experience of being on this side of the wall, which is vast!
The case manager came today and we went up and had a Centrelink advance put into my account for the new place at Bateau Bay. We had to go through all the address changes and work out the rental assistance and things and I was blown away at how tough I find it to visualize money and numbers in general. The case worker from ADSSI and the Centerlink worker filled out my forms and made the adjustments between them while I sat there like stunned mullet.
The chronic fatigue has advanced to a kind of switch point again. It may devolve back if I am lucky but at this point everything slows right down in my mind and body’s healing and coping capacity.
I did not improve much overnight and that is unusual. While I always wake feeling like a battered boxer on the day after it usually improves as the blood moves around the body but it didn’t and so things were painful and slow all day.
The bigger problem is that the damage is now cumulative. If the condition retreats next week when I have time to rest it will be alright. If it doesn’t then the move to the new place will again stress my heart and body only this time the healing that took hours can take weeks, months or years.
I know, all this sounds kinda whiney. I write this stuff down so people who need to understand why some friend or relative or patient is so blasted and not getting any better. At some stage just suggesting they make an effort is using their energy at dangerous levels. I am a long way from there but if the balance point has passed I am on the way and there is not a phrase in the world that will adequately describe the dread I feel as I face this again.
My hands feel weak and the tendons rubbery. Coming out tonight was an effort that took all day to arrange and I am hurting now. It may get better. The secret is just to rest, not the rest of a sick person with all the attention but the rest of a slob who is too lazy to get outta bed to pee. All this and still fighting the court cases!