The appointment to meet and brief the lawyer after Mr Paul Dixon was this morning.
I managed to sleep last night by pushing the computer chair so my legs were on the bed. There were pillows and the feather comforter supporting the legs and I had valium and codeine to try and outwit the nightmares and the pain. It worked for a couple of hours but I spent the morning trying to unscramble my brain. Valium, in particular. is a drug I use on limited occasions when the stress is battering me to the point I cannot make good decisions. It seems to break the growing hold of stress and I rarely use it twice. I cannot imagine it being a regular medication. Dangerous stuff
Grown with love in Barbara’s Garden.
I made a mistake booking the carer. I didnt include the time of the appointment in the email. I sent another email with the appointment time in the morning but my “antenna” told me I would need a taxi and when he hadnt turned up I rang one and went that way. I dont like going alone. I can do it. Before my heart started playing up and memory problems I preferred it. Some of the time it even seems a waste of the time of the carer. Then it happens that the heart problems flare or my memory disappears and I walk in front of a bus or am stuck with several kilos of paperwork that I have to keep safe while knowing that lifting it could aggravate the condition. Like that. That is my excuse anyway. I also love the idea that the hillbillies cannot plant some phony threat or assault me and have me charged with the single punch I threw as I disappeared under a flurry of attackers as they did that time.
It was the taxis this morning. One guy who could barely talk because he had some brain injury, I could sense the intensity of his effort to tell me simple things. We did speak about stuff. I am arrogant enough to ask people what happened when I see them dealing with extraordinary problems. I am not telling what we said but I have been where he is as far as brain injuries go. I was homeless and crippled so I didnt find an occupation but I understand the powerful energy that drove him. The home run taxi was a guy who had worked hard until some need to work harder ruined his health and his heart. He was fighting to find himself again. That is what I face every day. Damaged heart. The battle for energy. The desperate negotiation with life to get some part of it back in my control. I felt as though I had landed in some place where the people were my peers for a change.
The lawyer seemed a capable and intelligent person. I had demanded that I be allowed to video the meeting and the little GoPro Hero sat on the large conference table neatly. I did offer him an apology for forcing it to be used. It was explained that the hillbillies would just suddenly back out of a room complaining I had threatened them without even waiting for me to open my mouth. I no longer leave the apartment without video coverage and the apartment has cameras all over the place. In the case of this, latest, solicitor I felt I could have left it off but it has to become automatic to use it so I didn’t. We covered some good ground and I left with a feeling that I had moved from a free fall among strange predatory birds to a position of landing in a place with hope.
There are dangers in blogging things. You feel that you can give someone a happy shiny and warm mention by including their good works in your post and then find there was some subtle act among the things they did to support you that damages them and causes you hardships with their corporations. It is the reason I dont include much personal stuff in here. The stuff I do include is a risk taken to try and open the life of a handicapped person to the scrutiny of people who may never see this kind of feedback even if their departments spend tens of millions on research.
The problem with missing the hearing where I give my evidence seems huge. I have had nightmares over it. Several outcomes were discussed without anyone actually telling us which might be acceptable to the tribunal or the other side. Here is the big risk. It explains itself. It is an email to the lawyer discussing some after-thoughts. I hope it doesnt bring me trouble. I know I am a naive person in this regard but I need this understood as there is a wave cresting over the heads of low income people and they need to have someone dealing with these issues before the harm can set in and the action becomes a clean-up detail with piles of damaged lives all over the landscape.
The pressure has begun again. Two letters from Family and Community Services have arrived in two days. One includes information that their maintenance contractor has attempted entry a number of times and has been unable to gain access. He is not entitled to gain entrance whenever he feels like it and without a proper appointment so the fact that has tried a number of times must be seen as part of the harassment. I dont know which one he would be. It will be on the video somewhere but as I cannot identify people he could be anybody.